Successes and Setbacks

Greetings! Today marks nearly 5 weeks post-op and it is time for another update! I have so many things to share with you on this post so stick with me to the end!

Energy Changes
Every day since surgery I feel like I wake up and see someone different in the mirror. I don't really recognize it as weight loss though. I look in the mirror and see eyes looking back at me that aren't exhausted. I see skin looking back at me that looks younger and brighter. I see a woman looking back at me who is on possibly the hardest journey of her life and crushing it. At about 3 weeks post-surgery I found that my energy levels had skyrocketed. I had an extremely busy first week back to work after surgery and I anticipated that I would come hope completely exhausted. Instead, I found that I had more energy than I knew what to do with. I used to get home from work and the thought of cooking dinner and cleaning up was almost more than I could handle. I was tired ALL the time. But at 3 weeks out,  I began to have energy to come home and cook dinner, do a little cleaning, run errands, and complete any other number of activities! I even have the energy to workout again. Getting home from work and accomplishing so much yet still having the energy to lace up my sneakers and get a workout in is a feeling that I have missed so much. I really didn't realize how low I had gotten. I had just accepted that constant fatigue was my new life and being tired all the time was my new normal. Above anything else, even if I don't lose a single ounce more than I have, this alone makes this whole process worth it. My sleep pattern has also been totally shaken up for the better. I used to be ready to crawl into bed at 9:00pm and wake up at 7:00am still exhausted. Now, I am going to bed around 11:00pm and waking up at around 6:00am with little issue.

Confidence Changes
I am not sure that I can attribute this next part to my surgery per se. However, I think that it is the experience I have had that has given me a new platform to be an advocate for myself and others. This part of me was always there. But I think because of my journey the spark has been rekindled and I have a new fire inside of me. First, I am taking a more specific look at my feelings and my needs. Specifically as it relates to my career and professional growth. I have found a new spirit in myself to be my own advocate, ask for what I need, and speak up when something is bothering me or I have an idea or opinion. I have a bad habit of just "going with the flow" or being overly accommodating to my own detriment. Thought I still have work to go in this area, I have had a few notable moments recently that have made me really, really proud of my progress. This journey, though rewarding, is NOT for the weak. It is hard. It is REALLY hard. But in doing this really hard thing, I have realized that I CAN do hard things. And I AM worthy of living my best life. And I find myself taking more steps daily to be the driver in my own life...and not a passenger.

Second, I have also undertaken a personal mission to advocate with my employer for weight loss surgery to be included as part of our healthcare plan. Currently, all weight loss surgery, regardless of the medical need, is written as an exemption to our policy. Though pushing for this change now won't help me (I was a self-pay patient), I hope that it will be able to help others. I sent an email to a few of our executive leaders two weeks ago providing an overview of the health benefits of weight loss surgery and shared my personal experience thus far. I asked for an audience with them to open a dialogue about getting our policy revisited and reconsidering weight loss surgery as a policy exemption. This is very common though more and more policies are being revised to include it. Though I don't know where it will go, I am happy to say that they were very receptive to my request and I have a meeting with them on Friday to discuss it further. My employer is very invested in the holistic wellness of their employees and I am pleased that at a minimum, we're starting a dialogue!

Body Changes
Okay y'all...I still have to tell you about a few important things before we get to this. So...THIS IS A TEASER SECTION! Keep reading. It'll be worth it I promise.

Eating Setbacks
For the first few weeks after surgery eating wasn't too big of an issue. There were things I couldn't tolerate but overall eating wasn't a huge deal. When you find a food you can't tolerate, at least for me, it is painful. You feel like you need to vomit but can't. Your body starts creating excess saliva and mucous to get the food down and you start salivating like a rabid dog. My nose also runs like a faucet. It is typically a pretty miserable 20 minutes and then it passes. I have had this happen about 5 or 6 times since surgery. It's really hit and miss and I can't predict what I will be able to tolerate and what I won't. Aside from the discomfort of eating a food that doesn't sit well, my biggest setback food wise lately is that eating has become like a chore. I actually dread it. Nothing sounds good. Nothing tastes good. Food has completely lost all joy for me. I hear that it gets better, but right now it is hard. It is really hard. This was an unexpected development for me. I knew I would only be able to eat small amounts moving forward but I didn't anticipate that food would lose its appeal altogether.

Physical Setbacks
On Wednesday June 26th I came home from work and got on the treadmill. I got my workout in and then noticed afterward that my foot was really hurting. I thought maybe I had stepped wrong or just put to much pressure on it during my workout. The next day it was really painful and I was convinced I had somehow sprained my foot. On Friday evening, I went to visit my parents and as the night went on, I was having more and more pain and it was getting progressively harder to walk. I ended up staying the night because it got late and I wasn't confident I could push the gas pedal on my car to drive home. Saturday morning I woke up and was still in a lot of pain but was able to hobble to my car and drive myself home. By the time I made it to home, I could barely walk into the house. The next 24 hours were filled with the worst, unrelenting pain I have ever had in my entire life. I finally figured out on Saturday that I hadn't sprained my foot at all. I have gouty arthritis and was in a full blown gout attack. I have had elevated levels of uric acid for at least two years now but never really had a bad gout attack. In retrospect, I do think some of the pains that I have had in my ankles and knees over the last two years were actually gout. I had always just attributed it to my weight or that I had twisted a joint funny and didn't realize it. But now I am confident that I was having a mild gout flare.

I have watched my dad suffer with gout my entire life but never really understood the pain he was  going through until now. By Saturday mid-day I was in so much pain I was delirious. I couldn't walk. If I needed to make a trip to the bathroom I had to crawl on my hands and knees. I called my surgeon's after hours number and was able to talk to the surgeon on call. He said that it was fairly common for individuals with gouty arthritis to have a flare up after surgery due to the rapid weight loss. He called me in a prescription for colchicine that I had Ken pick up and started to take immediately. I also had some liquid hydrocodone that I took Saturday and Sunday to help minimize the pain. However, I would only get about 20 minutes of mild relief through that. The pain was no joke and not even hydrocodone could really touch it. Over the next 5 days the colchicine helped to reduce the swelling in my foot and break up the uric acid in my joints. I was unable to tolerate any weight on my foot at all (I ended up having Ken pick up some crutches so I didn't have to crawl) until Thursday afternoon. Today, I am 8 days into this flare up and still have pain. I am able to walk so I am grateful for that. The constant pain is managed as long as I am not on my feet for too long.

Right foot and ankle swelling and redness from gouty arthritis attack. Flare started on Saturday 6/26. This picture was taken Wednesday 7/3.

Redness and swelling on top of foot and ankle from gouty arthritis attack. 8 days in.

*One huge disclaimer that I want anyone considering this surgery to be aware of is that after surgery you cannot take NSAIDs (non steroidal anti inflammatory drugs) anymore for the rest of your life. They are too hard on your new digestive system and you are at an increased risk for gastric ulcers. Even two doses is enough to eat a hole through your new stomach pouch. So, my option for pain relief now is Tylenol. This has done the trick so far until the gout attack. So for anyone with arthritis who typically relies on NSAIDs to manage arthritic inflammation, you will definitely need to discuss this with your doctor if you are considering surgery.*

Body Changes Part 2!
Okay here is the status update on my body transformation! My surgery was on June 3rd. I weighed myself on July 4th and I am officially down 34 pounds! I can definitely feel the difference in my body. Some before and after photos are posted below. Thanks for reading and supporting me in my journey! I will update in another two weeks!

The picture on the left was taken about a week ago. The picture on the right was taken on June 28th. The picture on the left was taken in January at my highest weight which was the same as my surgery day weight.